A major concern for most women who can’t seem to find that
“ideal” guy or keep an existing relationship is their problem on how to
understand men. Although girls are noted for being unpredictable, men can also
frustrate women if they fail to read and interpret between the lines. More than
physical and emotional attraction, mutual understanding is very important in
creating a relationship. It is also a key to save all those years of hard work that
couples share to preserve their relationship.
Understanding the actions, thoughts, and desires of men is
not an easy task for women, but consideration of the following aspects should already
be a good start.
Acknowledge that not all men are the same
Even prior to dating and the actual start of a loving
relationship, most women already have a list of qualities and features which
they would look for in a man. Most of the time, these qualities are drawn from the
trait comparisons they make with their father, brothers, or dear friends. But
women must understand that not all men think and behave the same. A particular man
will have a different style of handling a relationship, on showing emotions, on
decision making, or on solving relationship problems. And these qualities can
already be noticed as early as the dating stage. Acknowledging this uniqueness
in a man would be a good way for any women to appreciate and to adjust to her
partner.
Understand that ego and pride is very important for men
Ego and pride is a very sensitive issue for men. As much as
possible, men would always want to be seen as the leader or captain of the
relationship. They would appreciate simple compliments when things are going
well but will be very much frustrated if they hear that results of their
decisions produce negative outcomes or when things are going beyond their
control. This is probably the hardest aspect in understanding a man. But it
doesn’t necessarily mean that women should stay silent and always be
submissive. There are several coping and adjusting mechanisms that women can
implement to contribute to a more fruitful relationship without hurting a man’s
ego. For example, it won’t hurt a woman to make suggestions or to discuss
decisions that would affect the relationship.
Men are straightforward
Unlike women, men are direct to the point. They would tell
you exactly how they feel and they would act accordingly. So there should be no
extra effort required for women to understand how men think and act.
Alternately, women should always try to communicate in a more precise and
clearer manner. Hard-to-understand gestures and implicit messages should always
be avoided. This rule applies essentially when dating. Since both of you are
merely on the stage of getting to know each other, it would be hard to make
inferences. Not to mention the fact that you don’t want to send the wrong
message to the guy.
Rationality is Essential
According to most experts men are rational and less
emotional in terms of decision making. Compared to women, men are problem
solvers and would always try to generate rational solutions or base their
actions on intellect and not on emotion. For women to effectively understand
and communicate with men, a certain level of rationality that would jive to
their partner’s is essential for women.
Relationship pitfalls on the issue of commitment
Women who are afraid for their relationship to end or for
their partners to eventually leave would try to determine how committed the man
is. But at times, women get too far and would already pressure men to commit to
the relationship. Unknown to most women, commitment is also a concern for most
men. The only issue will have to be the timing when a man is most ready for a real
lasting or even a lifetime relationship. So for the ladies, patience is really
a virtue.
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